I've heard of setting low standards, but I must admit I was rather shocked to hear that Gareth Southgate feels it was an "achievement" for Middlesbrough to come close to signing Alan Smith.

Smith marked his debut with the winner against Sampdoria on Sunday and said he wanted to become a Geordie legend.

With Mark Viduka heading up the A19 to set up shop on Tyneside, I wonder if Jonathan Woodgate is wishing he had done the same.